Although floating on water, which unlike the earth is unstable and constantly in movement, the boat brings a feeling of temporary safety. Inside, as in some kind of a bubble, exists a different world, freely and in parallel to the official norms of the majority outside. Recalling periods in Berlin’s history such as the 1930s and the gay club culture of now and then, the performance I only want to love me is inspired by the works of the German filmmaker and author Rainer Werner Fassbinder. His movies are neither a direct criticism nor a rejection of the gay liberation policy – instead, they stand on its side. This position implies the understanding of one’s sexual identity as a social role or a performance articulated in relation to the public cultural discourse, while providing resistance to the norms imposed by a moral majority. The queer context of this work is not only reserved for homosexual identity, but it is also speaking for those who do not feel comfortable in socially determined frames. This site specific performance aims to function as a mirror reflecting social pathologies, allowing the viewer to notice the connection between the changes in social power structures and the constant transformation of sexual roles and identities in individuals. Identity questions and issues – whether personal, sexual or political – remain open, fluid and subject to unexpected changes. Nothing is stable, everything is in constant flow. A line of male bodies divided into two rows crosses over the ship’s womb. These two sides of the ship represent the two sides of our personality – the public side shown to others and the hidden one we guard in ourselves, often called the dark side. Is our dark side rightly named so? How much do we hide under the influence of the environment, society and taboos that we should not hide?
THE AUDIENCE IS INVITED TO CROSS OVER THE BARRIER MADE OF MALE BODIES. THIS GESTURE SYMBOLISES THE TRANSITION TO THE OTHER SIDE OF OURSELVES, HIGHLIGHTING THE IMPORTANCE OF ACCEPTING THE OTHERNESS AND DIVERSITY AS SUCH. Sailors or migrants? Men from the gay club scene or anyone confused about their sexuality? Queer people or the ones who feel they belong to a particular group? Squeezed in one corner, the exposed bodies of the performers reflect all these questions and possible scenes from any ship: from the sailors on distant boats and cruisers on which they are stacked for months or the ships full of migrants often leading people in search of a better life into the death, to the people in Berlin clubs free to express their sexual desires and passions. The polaroid photos serve to capture the passing moment of the performance and all of the above connotations. The viewers have the possibility to buy photos if they wish to carry a part of the performance with them, somewhere further, symbolically prolonging it. The price of one polaroid photo is 20 euros.
THE AUDIENCE IS FREE TO ENTER AND EXIT THE PERFORMANCE ANYTIME AND TO MOVE FREELY IN THE SPACE.